Sexual intimacy and the family

During the week we discussed sexual intimacy and the family we talked about the emotional connection people have with their spouse in regards to sex. one thing that we discussed which stands out to me is that the way sex education is taught in schools has shifted in some negative directions. for one the focus is not really so much upon the emotional connections associated with that level of intimacy, but rather upon the process of how it occurs and the functions of each partner in the process. also one of the shifts has been towards teaching "safe-sex" as opposed to abstinence before marriage. I remember in my own high school health class they passed around various forms of birth control in order to teach us regarding ways to have sex without having children. I was and still am appalled by that teaching. Sex is highly sacred and should not be mocked in such a way.

social classes

the week we discussed social classes and families we read an article about the effects of immigration on Mexican families that come to the united states. one thing that occurs is that the father leaves the family to come to America to work. the separation creates changes in the way the family functions. often times it is a few years before the family can join the father in the united states. as a result the longevity of separation has a dramatic impact upon his relationship with everyone in the family. it takes awhile to resume his position as head of the household. he may not feel a part of his family anymore. children of these families may get into trouble as a result of the cultural changes and miss their extended family that they left behind. this is important to understand since frequently immigrant families are viewed as bad in America and are frequently criticized. when someone understands why some of this group, namely the youth, do bad things it is often an emotional response to dramatic and difficult situations.

last week

Last week we discussed the importance of appropriate parenting. in particular I was impressed by the videos devoted to the purpose. In particular I thought the methods of connecting discipline with the rebellious act was very logical. It makes sense to discipline a child regarding natural law. if they abuse a privilege, they lose the blessings associated with that privilege. I think this is an important way to teach children by having certain consequences already established for a certain action. I also think that allowing truly natural consequences in which I have no involvement in the causation of are important. for example if a child does not clean their room they will lose things and suffer the consequences of that without my fixing the problem for them. Hopefully this will persuade them to be more responsible in the future.

Mothers and working

This week we talked about mothers and working outside the home and the effects that has on children. This is one that was particularly meaningful to me since that was for a time my situation in life. when a mother leaves the home to go work it can have a major impact on the children negatively. among the things missed are the time that children get to spend with their mom after they get home from school where they have the opportunity to learn or talk or whatever the case may be. it provides a security for children that strengthens their confidence and helps them feel emotionally more sound. when that is taken away children have to learn how to fend for themselves during that time and they have less guidance from their parents. they feel a deficit in their confidence and security and frequently get into moral and legal trouble. my advocation is that staying home is a more important occupation for a mother than any other. the consequences are enormous.

This week we discussed communication. this was particularly fascinating to me since I have wondered and thought about this subject for a long time. How is it that so many people communicate ineffectively? I have realized from my life that the majority of problems I am aware of or the perpetuation of problems occurs because people do not know how to communicate. too often we think that others are inherently gifted to read into the signals we give. the fact of the matter is that unless you are highly gifted in comprehending the human mind, the hints and such that people give are highly ambiguous and may easily, and frequently are, misinterpreted. the solution to this is clear. we must be unequivocally clear in the messages we give to people. we should be tactful, but we should be frank and honest. Any other course will likely lead to confusion, tension and possible alienation of the individuals associated.

This week we discussed when crisis hits a family. it is interesting to me in reflection upon the responses of my own family to crisis. in particular I am interested by the fact that there is a choice in the matter for a family to pull together or to draw apart. this is simply what will make the difference deciding long before a crisis comes what your response will be to any crisis. the answer to that question can and should always be we will trust in god and cling to one another. this should be reaffirmed frequently and then especially once a crisis comes.

this week. as opposed to last week or the week before or next week. are you getting bored by this long title?

So this week we talked and studied about the effects of children upon the marriages of couples. I found it interesting that so much marital dissatisfaction occurred as a result of having children. I knew children brought stress but I suppose I hadn't considered very much the dramatic effect it would have upon couples. However the solution is not to stop having children since this is our duty as god's children to bring other spirits into the world. the solution rests instead in preparation and correct action in taking care of a child. a principle we've talked about this week as well as before is the fact that couples need to first take care of their relationship before they are able to take care of the children. Initially I was a little bothered by this since children are dependent but the more I have thought about it the more it makes sense. it's not that children should be neglected, in fact it is quite the opposite. if parents take care of themselves and their relationship they will take better care of their children.

       So this week in Family Relations we've talked about dating and the importance of following the lord's way in doing these things. In particular we discussed the effects of cohabitation. I was not unfamiliar with the idea that cohabitation has typically not fulfilled it's purpose but it's especially interesting in light of how logical it appears upfront to test out a relationship in that way. there are several possibilities as to why cohabiting couples often do not work out. The theory I am most closely allied with is that there is simply a lack of commitment. in other words the couples even if they do get married have entered this relationship as a cohabiting couple with the mentality that if it doesn't work out they can just separate. no doubt this same mentality carries over into marriage and thus if they see a need to separate there is much less worry about doing so. this goes to show that the way the lord has revealed regarding dating and courting is truly the best way.

the next post: gender

This week we have discussed gender and things pertaining to gender roles. Also we have learned about homosexual attractions and what could be some underlying causes of it. In particular I was interested in what causes homosexual attractions since this has become such a highly controversial issue in the past several years. Based upon the article as well as our class discussion, I believe that homosexual attractions are primarily a result of circumstances and choice. that is to say the most influential causes may be traumatic circumstances in the family (no father, overly involved mother) it may be a result of bullying or any other number of factors. personal choice is truly the biggest factor because people choose to act upon those feelings which in turn increases them. this is not to say that people who engage in homosexual behavior are a result of those things, but it is a very likely contributing factor for many.

week two

So this week we talked about how one family members problems affects the other members of the family. I had always realized this idea was true but actually seeing the visual model of us 6 at the front of the class being pulled by the circumstances of others was a clear way to explain the way families function. It is in a way a good representation of my own family where we push and pull at times and it affect the entire family.

week one

In family relations class this week we discussed the sub fertility rates across the world and the causes for them. I was particularly impressed by the fact that sub fertility rates were even an issue at this point in our history. growing up I've consistently heard about over population and how there won't be enough resources to provide for humanity if we get too much larger. I don't know that I ever really believed the idea since i've seen quite a bit of unoccupied space or hardly occupied space that you could easily fit several major cities into if it were necessary. However notwithstanding my previous ideas that there was enough space for one I had no clue that the world was actually having a smaller generation following this current one.

number one

first post